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Do You See What I See?

Lori Brenneman

Did you know you can choose your feelings? I know it's crazy. We are women, after all, so we eat, breath, and live our emotions. But for real. I have this conversation with my kids all the time. No one else is responsible for your responses and reactions, but you. That is a little harsh right. I'm not too fond of it either because it means that I have to bear the burden of guilt. It means that I have to be accountable. I hate being accountable. Did you know that you are trained at a young age to react the way you do to things? How you perceive the world affects how you respond to it so if you want to change how you behave in situations, you have to change your perception.

Seeing the world differently

Here's an example we use with my daughter all the time. She has three brothers, and they are difficult at times. They pick on her, tease her, and push every button she has. She can't avoid them, that would be the easiest thing to do, but she can choose to see things differently. The other day we had a discussion about her brother calling her stupid. (I'm not saying he was right and I had a stern talking to with him as well) But I had to deal with how she handles it too which was screaming at him like someone had cut her arm off and smacked her with it. We asked her why it affected her so strongly? She said because it hurt her feelings. I asked her why it hurt her feelings. She responds that it's mean. I told her it wouldn't hurt her feelings unless she already believed it to be true. You see bullies always find our insecurities and exploit them. Let me explain. She wouldn't have gotten her feelings hurt if he called her a chair. A chair is inanimate. She would think he was ridiculous. But because he chooses and insecurity and pushed that little red button it set her off. 

 
You have to change your lens. Emilie's brother is not an authority on her IQ. Neither does his opinion have any bearing on her past, present, or future. She responded in a way that she had been trained to respond. we all know being called stupid is a terrible thing.
 
This scenario made me think of all the times that I have allowed others to dictate my mood. Who cares what people are "saying" about you. Who died and made them a king. Are they the expert on your life? I think as women, it's easy for us to get drawn into a lot of drama based on someone else's behavior and I think it's time we take personal responsibility for ours.
 
I want to challenge you this week when someone gets you all riled up to stop and think about the lense that you are using! Let me know if you like my crazy ramblings! 
 
Want more info on controlling your emotions? Check out this great article by Psychology Today, 5 Ways to Get Tour Unwanted Emotions Under Control.

"May you never forget what is worth remembering, or remember what is best forgotten."

Lori B.
Tea Shirt Shoppe
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