This morning I woke up to a song on my mind today, "No Such Thing As A Broken Heart" by Old Dominion. This is not out of the ordinary as I typically wake up to a song on replay in my mind. I'm not entirely sure why this is other than I really love music and have always had a deep connection to all types of music. Today; however, The lyrics that were on repeat were "You know you can't keep the ground from shaking, no matter how hard you try. You gotta love like there's no such thing as a broken heart". These lyrics are rolling around in my mind as I watch the morning news talking about the newest round of tragedies that have been happening around us. I was reminded that as this song goes on there are lyrics that talk about how hard life can be at times. Music is such an expressive language that I always find a deeper connection to the song after I look up the lyrics so I decided that I would dive in a little deeper. What I found was "You can't keep the sunsets from fading, you gotta treat your life like you're jumping off a rope swing baby 'cause the whole thing's really just a shot in the dark. What am I gonna tell my kids when they see all of this bullshit that goes down on TV, When the whole world is down on its luck, I gotta make sure they keep their chin up, Cry when it hurts, laugh when it's funny, Chase after the dream, don't chase after the money, And know we got each other, that's what's up. You gotta love like there's no such thing as a broken heart." I don't know about you but for me, this song helped me stay focused on the love and not the hate. I know that at times I struggle with cultivating love when there is so much darkness in the world but I also know that today I am grateful that I woke up with this song on my mind because just for today I was able to see things from a different perspective.
The English Language Learners Definition of tragedy is: 1) a very bad event that causes great sadness and often involves someone's death 2) a very sad, unfortunate, or upsetting situation: something that causes strong feelings of sadness or regret. If we take those definitions into consideration then tragedy is ALWAYS going to be a part of our life! We absolutely have an obligation to do everything we can to prevent tragedy from happening; however, we also have to know that tragedy is a part of life which we are not able to escape from. After a tragedy has occurred first responders jump into action performing immediate needed physical triage. The English Language Learners Definition of triage is: 1) the sorting of and allocation of treatment to patients and especially battle and disaster victims according to a system of priorities designed to maximize the number of survivors 2) the sorting of patients (as in an emergency room) according to the urgency of their need for care. The physical triage is absolutely the most important and immediate needed attention in the aftermath. Once the physical triage has been completed and it is determined that everyone is physically safe is when you will find that the survival shock wears off and then you are left with a broken heart.
Tragedy Triage for the Broken Heart
- Get up! (even when you want to Give up!): Each day take a step forward even if it's from the bed to the couch. Even when you feel like you are walking in peanut butter take it slow and steady. It is imperative to reach out to those helpers that are standing on the other side with their arms stretched out offering you assistance to pull you out of the mess. The moment you have a thought to move count it out 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 work it out, then physically move before your mind has a chance to stop you. Crawl if you have to but keep moving.
- Balancing BS: Feed your focus to the helpful things that are happening. Focus on how the community is coming together and taking care of each other. Focus on your tribe, those who always show up. Stay connected to those who are helpful. Stay connected to information that is helpful. Purge and Prune your environment so that you can remove all things that are not providing you peace.
- Clearing Chaos: It's okay to limit watching TV, limit exposure to current news and choose not to engage in a heated debate on current world issues. That doesn't mean you don't care about the world that you live in that means that sometimes just getting through your own day to day life is hard enough. Trust me I have tried really hard to isolate and hide myself away plenty of times just to not feel the heartbreak of the world around me. Sometimes this is EXACTLY what we have to do for self-preservation so if that is you right now that is okay! So put down the phone, turn off the TV and step away!
- Detoxing Doubt: Speak the truth and state the age-appropriate facts. Answer questions with simple facts and avoid overthinking responses. Eliminate negative thoughts by challenging stinkin thinkin. If you wouldn't say it to someone you love then don't say it to yourself.
- Release and Renew: Find activities that ignite your passion and do more of it! Create a new vision of victory and take steps forward! Cultivate a vision of where you want to be and identify what will get there then let the rest go.
Take good care of yourself and each other!
Sending you all much love,
Jessicca Shumard, MS, LPC
Elevating Peaceful Purpose